Monday, September 5, 2011


Make Me Wanna Die~ *The Pretty Reckless*

I'm writing this entry as I'm annoyed with everyone especially my own family. I just hate it when people ask me when am I going to marry since my brother is already married. YES people, I'll marry soon. But NOT now!!!

If I'm married, who's going to:
  • give my dad rmX00 every month?
  • lend my car when my family wants to go outstation?
  • give my siblings pocket money every now and then?
  • buy household things when necessary??
  • clean the house every weekend?
  • help mum with house chores every other weekend?
  • cook delicious meals when necessary??
  • baby sit my siblings at home when my parents are not home?
  • scold my siblings when they're lazy doing homework@chores?
  • babble nonsense every other weekend????
  • act as a big sister who bosses around in the house?
I'm not trying to bob up and down everything I've done. BUT sometimes when people do bad things to you and doesn't appreciate everything you've done, You just have to remind them everything.

I was so devastated when last Saturday my mum said "Mariam jeles ke Faruq kahwin". It's like she stabbed me in the heart with the sharpest dagger in the world. It wounded me till today. How can she say that when I was one of the people who spent a lot for the marriage to happen? I also helped to do the 'hantaran' till late at night, I helped make the ceremony happen and she had the heart to say that to my face??? How could of all people, my MUM was the one to say such thing??? Even my brother didn't appreciate what I did. He didn't even thank me for all I've done. He even acted as if I'm a slave who should do whatever he says *He scolded me for being late to send his sampin to the tailor, He scolded me for doing the hantaran*.

What did I do in life to deserve such treatment? Everything I did seems to be lacking. Every bad things  my brother did is forgiven and forgotten. Sometimes I think I was adopted by this family. Maybe I am adopted.  I'm an adopted child from the beginning, that's why my mum treat me as such. Sometimes I feel it's better to die than live~ I hate this feeling.

Sometimes Life Sucks~


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