Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Babies and Children are just so Adorable

Lately, I'm obsessed with babies and toddlers. They are so adorable. They're sweet, cute, chubby, laughable.... They're just adorable. I love them.

It seems that the babies love me too. *as long as they're well fed and comfortable*

Here are some photos I've taken with the little ones~

Posing with Baby Azam 

Baby Azam~

Adorable girl~

cute dimple girl~

I love her dimple!!!

The Adorable girl from Nisa's house

Baby Putri Aisyah Humaira

Umar & Amalina

Umar & Adam

Umar comel~

Baby Aniq & Wan 

Baby Aniq

Baby Aisha

Ewa, Baby Sumayya, my mum, K. Amni
Baby Sumayya crying~

Baby Sumayya

Baby Sumayya

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Awkward Moments~

I have a few awkward moments in life. 

Today I feel awkward in my own house. *I rented a room at an apartment next to my clinic* There are actually 4 people staying in this apartment. @ siblings, myself and this other girl. Why do I need to feel awkward at all? This is because my other housemate's family is here. I not the sociable girl who can talk freely with new people I just knew. I feel really shy around them.

They arrived Wednesday morning around 1am. I was asleep so I didn't meet them. In the morning I greeted her mother and went to work. That evening I didn't come home because I was so shy. I won't know what to do around strangers. It's better to vanish rather then trying to be invisible in the house like today. Today is my 1st day fasting in Syawal. I didn't want to go out so I came home. After ironing, cooking etc, they arrived home. I didn't know what to do, so I greeted aunty and watched tv.We had a short conversation which was not important. I break my fast in my room,  *I can;t bare eating in front of strangers*, prayed and blog. Now I'm blogging alone, hearing voices outside my room. 

After this, I'm gonna pray and sleep early. I'm ashamed of myself, but I don't know what to do. My self esteem around strangers are strange.

This is pathetic and it's happening to me.


Monday, September 5, 2011


Make Me Wanna Die~ *The Pretty Reckless*

I'm writing this entry as I'm annoyed with everyone especially my own family. I just hate it when people ask me when am I going to marry since my brother is already married. YES people, I'll marry soon. But NOT now!!!

If I'm married, who's going to:
  • give my dad rmX00 every month?
  • lend my car when my family wants to go outstation?
  • give my siblings pocket money every now and then?
  • buy household things when necessary??
  • clean the house every weekend?
  • help mum with house chores every other weekend?
  • cook delicious meals when necessary??
  • baby sit my siblings at home when my parents are not home?
  • scold my siblings when they're lazy doing homework@chores?
  • babble nonsense every other weekend????
  • act as a big sister who bosses around in the house?
I'm not trying to bob up and down everything I've done. BUT sometimes when people do bad things to you and doesn't appreciate everything you've done, You just have to remind them everything.

I was so devastated when last Saturday my mum said "Mariam jeles ke Faruq kahwin". It's like she stabbed me in the heart with the sharpest dagger in the world. It wounded me till today. How can she say that when I was one of the people who spent a lot for the marriage to happen? I also helped to do the 'hantaran' till late at night, I helped make the ceremony happen and she had the heart to say that to my face??? How could of all people, my MUM was the one to say such thing??? Even my brother didn't appreciate what I did. He didn't even thank me for all I've done. He even acted as if I'm a slave who should do whatever he says *He scolded me for being late to send his sampin to the tailor, He scolded me for doing the hantaran*.

What did I do in life to deserve such treatment? Everything I did seems to be lacking. Every bad things  my brother did is forgiven and forgotten. Sometimes I think I was adopted by this family. Maybe I am adopted.  I'm an adopted child from the beginning, that's why my mum treat me as such. Sometimes I feel it's better to die than live~ I hate this feeling.

Sometimes Life Sucks~